


Daddy Long Legs (6)

by hobijam



Category: VIXX
Genre: Crack, Humor, M/M, Sex Jokes, Social Media, chat fic, guys being dudes, sns au, this is really crude
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-04 01:46:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14009499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hobijam/pseuds/hobijam
Summary: ravswag: yo hold up wait a minute girlravswag: how many people in this chat has jaehwan fuckedkingbean: not a good enough reason to use a mommae lyric(the 100% true diary of vixx's chat logs)(will be updated probably)





	1. jaehwan's ass

**Author's Note:**

> the names are p self explanatory except jaehwan is babyshoez because i can't get over the fact he keeps booze and baby shoes in his closet

 

**ravswag has entered chat room: daddy long legs (6)**

 

 **ravswag** : yo hold up wait a minute girl

**ravswag** : how many people in this chat has jaehwan fucked

**kingbean** : not a good enough reason to use a mommae lyric 

**kingbean** : but uh yeah can confirm over here

**ravswag** : hakyeon? i remember you sayin somth

**chababy** : jae said he wanted to try a age kink thing with me and that he trusted me

**chababy** : will not attempt again

**kingbean** : did he like it  


**chababy** : yeah but it made me feel old so i was out 

**chababy** : i've got the moves i'm still young

**kingbean** : noted ✔️also gross

**ravswag** : .........................anyways taek? 

**taekwoon** : [error]: message not received. please contact your service provider. thank you.

**ravswag** : this is the fourth time you’ve done this to me that doesn’t work anymore

**taekwoon** : [error]: message not received. please contact your service provider. thank you. 

**chababy** : i’m actually curious though 

**hyukdiddy** : me too taek please 

**chababy** : i know what to do

 

**announcement: chababy** : _taekwoon i have three (3) juice pouches waiting in my car with your name on them if you answer wonshik_

 

**taekwoon** : [error]: message not received. please contact your service provider. thank you.

 

**announcement: chababy** : _taekwoon i will get so close to your nephew and your sister that they will begin to love me more than you. even though i am clearly gay, i will marry your sister and become the father of your nephew. slowly, i will condition your adorable baby nephew to hate you. then, you will never see a baby again. you will die alone and unhappy, childless. all because you didn’t say if jaehwan lee fucked you or not._

 

**taekwoon** : fine 

**taekwoon** : three times 

**taekwoon** : we were elbows deep in his liquor stash every time

**taekwoon** : any dick looks good if you’re drunk enough

**taekwoon** : doesn’t matter if it’s crooked

**ravswag** : KNEW IT

**ravswag** : also i’m glad i’m not the only one? it IS a little crooked right? 

**kingbean** : THANK YOU he got so defensive when i tried to tell him 

 

_**kingbean has tagged babyshoez in taekwoon’s message:**_ _any dick looks good if you’re drunk enough_

_**kingbean has tagged babyshoez in taekwoon’s message** : doesn’t matter if it’s crooked. _

 

**babyshoez** : what’s happen 

**babyshoez** : are we talking about one of hakyeon’s hookups again

**kingbean** : it costs the sweet low price of zero dollars to Scroll Up

**babyshoez** : i failed literature do you think i know how to read 

**hyukdiddy** : oh don’t worry you’ll want to read it

**babyshoez** : yeah so what i’ve fucked y’all 

**babyshoez** : SJSJHSHS IT’S NOT CROOKED 

**ravswag** : sure jan

**hyukdiddy** : uM. why has he fucked everyone but me

**kingbean** : hush you don’t even know what sex is you’re like eight

**hyukdiddy** : i’ve literally fucked you in the ass hongbin

**ravswag** : SHIT bro you just gonna take that 

**kingbean** : ….no

 

**_hyukdiddy has been kicked from Daddy Long Legs_ **

 

**chababy** : i don’t believe in guns but shots FIRED

**ravswag** : you don’t know what that means

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm actually hella insecure about this  
> but yeah i'm in too many groupchats that rot my brain Not to make a fic about it  
> let me know what you think at btsdadd or whyjaehwan on tumblr!  
> i would love a comment so i feel validated  
> or tell me i'm not funny idc


	2. anger nap

**hyukdiddy** : guys help

**hyukdiddy** : taekwoon is asleep on me and i need to get up

**chababy** : so? get up? 

**hyukdiddy** : i’m not trying to die 

**ravswag** : i thot u weren’t scared of him anymore

**kingbean** : didn’t you beat him up like a week ago

**chababy** : just pinch his nose shut and he’ll either wake up or die 

**chababy** : it’s what i do 

**chababy** : he hasn’t died yet so therefore there is a 100% success rate in waking him up

**hyukdiddy** : you are not understanding me 

**hyukdiddy** : he’s taking an a n g e rn a p . 

**kingbean** : go with hakyeon’s idea

**ravswag** : bro did u just hear him? he could die 

**kingbean** : yeah lol

**kingbean** : i’m still mad at him bruh

**ravswag** : oh ye ok 

**ravswag** : ur cute when ur mad 

**kingbean** : bro stop omg

**hyukdiddy** : OK disturbingly heterosexually gay as this is 

**hyukdiddy** : taekwoon is still on top of me and i have a fortnite tournament at changkyun’s 

**ravswag** : i mean it hongbin ur adorable 

**kingbean** : do you really think so

**ravswag** : ye bro lmao 

 

**announcement: hyukdiddy** : _I AM HAVE PRObLEM_

 

**babyshoez** : shut up all of you i’m sleep 

**babyshoez** : what if i want to take an a n g e rn a p . 

 

**announcement: hyukdiddy** : _IA MH A V EP R O B L E M_

 

**babyshoez** : why’s he angry anyway

**hyukdiddy** : his peppa pig recordings got deleted off the dvr 

**ravswag** : l m a o b r u h

**chababy** : ok someone better confess because that’s not ok

**chababy** : you don’t just delete a man’s peppa pig

**kingbean** : fine 

**kingbean** : i don’t like to watch the commercials so i record my shit

**kingbean** : i honestly thought peppa was hyuk’s i wouldn’t have deleted it if i knew it was taek’s 

**hyukdiddy** : why would i…. i’m grown… hongbin…. 

**hyukdiddy** : ANYWAYS YALL NEED TO HELP ME

**babyshoez** : fine jesu let me call him brb 

**chababy** : this is going to go so badly 

**kingbean** : i can’t wait

**babyshoez** : he didn’t pick up 

**hyukdiddy** : his phone went off but he didn’t wake up 

**hyukdiddy** : changkyun is waiting for me hurry do it again 

**ravswag** : oh ChAnGkYuN what will u do without him 

**hyukdiddy** : wonshik kim i don’t comment on your weird shit with hongbin don’t start on my broship with changkyun

**babyshoez** : oHs HIT

**kingbean** : ………anyways jaehwan call him again 

**babyshoez** : ok on it 

**chababy** : don’t come crying when this goes wrong all of you are dumb children who will die of natural selection

**chababy** : except jaehwan he’s an adult just stupid i guess 

**hyukdiddy** : he moved 

**hyukdiddy** : ok hakyeon imma pinch his nose i hope he dies 

**kingbean** : excite 

**hyukdiddy** : haj998**)Q)(W)*q09w(

**ravswag** : shut up 

**hyukdiddy** : JAKSJ(!)#8#Q763792((*!#)(

**chababy** : sanghyuk seriously

**hyukdiddy** : this is taekwoon. sanghyuk is unavailable. 

**hyukdiddy** : do not come looking for him

**chababy** : taek please don’t do anything irresponsible 

**babyshoez** : nah do it

**kingbean** : yeah

**ravswag** : do it

**hyukdiddy** : watch yourself jae 

**hyukdiddy** : i know it was you who called my phone 

 

**announcement: babyshoez** : _hakyeon please call the police_

 

**chababy** : you did this to yourself 

**babyshoez** : i’ll do anything for you please help 

**chababy** : anything 

**babyshoez** : anything ;) 

**chababy** : then perish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave a comment please they motivate me  
> talk to me at btsdadd or whyjaehwan on tumblr !

**Author's Note:**

> i'm actually hella insecure about this  
> but yeah i'm in too many groupchats that rot my brain Not to make a fic about it  
> let me know what you think at btsdadd or whyjaehwan on tumblr!  
> i would love a comment so i feel validated  
> or tell me i'm not funny idc


End file.
